FIC: Chapter and Verse 6/? AUTHOR: Widdershin RATING: G PAIRING: SB/VM FEEDBACK: Yes please WARNINGS: AU, schmoopy and sappy I know. DISCLAIMER: This story is 100% fiction. The author doesn't know these people. These events never happened. Unfortunately. BETA: Owlgrey SUMMARY: Even a guy from Sheffield can fall in love. AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is the sequel to “A Note in the Margin”. You really need to read that series first. The vague mint of his own shampoo and the underlying scent of Viggo were the first things Sean consciously registered as he drifted towards waking. He slowly became aware of the light press of his skin against the warmth of Viggo’s back; his arm wrapped protectively around him and his nose buried in Viggo’s hair. They’d stayed together in the bath until the water had cooled, Sean speaking softly at first … Viggo not at all. Sean tightened his hold slightly and listened to the gentle snore … Viggo had fallen asleep as soon as he crawled under the security of the quilt despite the light still filtering in through the window. Sean lay with him for a while before he carefully slid out of bed and padded through to the living room where he dialled the shop number. “Hello, Margins Bookstore.” “It’s Sean … I’m home. Viggo’s here.” Orlando hesitated, Sean sounded exhausted, “Is everything okay Sean?” “Yeah,” he stopped then added quietly, “I don’t know. I was angry Orlando … I reacted badly and said things … called him things I shouldn’t have.” Orlando frowned but said softly, “You were upset Sean, he’ll understand. Viggo’s a good person just talk to him.” “He’s asleep … I think he …” Sean’s jaw clenched as he fought back his emotions, “He’s asleep.” “I’m about to close the shop. I can come up if you want … you know, just for a drink or chat …yeah?” Sean sighed, “Thanks mate, but I’m tired. I think I’ll just get some sleep.” “Okay. Sleep’s good Sean. Mum always said that it gives us a chance to heal,” Orlando soothed, “He’s strong you know Sean. Despite everything …” He’s strong you know Sean. Despite everything … Sean rested his face carefully against the crook of Viggo’s neck. He knew Viggo wasn’t a child … knew he was a grown man and contained a strength that he doubted existed in many men, including himself … yet he brought out every protective instinct in Sean. He gently nuzzled the nape of Viggo’s neck. Sean smiled a little when Viggo moaned lightly in his sleep and leaned back into the touch without waking. He kissed the soft skin below Viggo’s ear; lips just brushing the heat of the pulse point and whispered, “What brought you here Vig? What brought you to this?” Sean closed his eyes and just breathed Viggo while all the questions he wanted to ask ran through his mind … What was your life like Viggo? Your wife and job … what happened? Why did you end up on the street? How long did you live like that before Maggie gave you somewhere to feel safe? Safe … what caused the nightmares? Sean squeezed his eyes tight; it hurt to think of Viggo out there … and what could have happened to him. Sean took a shaky breath and gently pulled Viggo’s hair off his face. “You’ve change me too you know?” He whispered, wishing he could say these things when Viggo was awake, “I’ve never actually stayed the night with anyone before you …” Sean gave a mirthless chuckle at how fast he usually exited a bedroom, “now the thought of my bed without you …” He watched his fingers slowly thread through Viggo’s hair, “I don’t think I can go back to my ‘old’ life Vig … it seems like a world for a different person now … but I need to know, are you still going to be here at the end of the year?” The seed of fear started to grow in his chest, all the ‘what ifs’ appeared in rapid succession; what if Viggo left again, what if Viggo was really sick? Stop it Bean … stop it. Sean let his arm drop down again and encircled Viggo’s waist, his fingers tickled through the hair on Viggo’s belly comforted by the small murmur Viggo made in his sleep. He pressed himself tight against Viggo’s back and lay like that simply listening to Viggo sleep. It was almost an hour before Viggo began to stir. He didn’t say anything, but the subtle change in body language told Sean he was awake. “I’m sorry Viggo; I shouldn’t have lost it like that,” Sean said very quietly while he flexed his fingers over Viggo’s warm skin, “It’s just the thought of someone else touching you …” Viggo winced and a wave of self-loathing washed over him. What could he say to that? It had been his choice … even though he felt like he had no choice at all. The silence lingered in the room … both men wanted to speak, but neither felt able to. Viggo was tense in Sean’s embrace and he felt the panic start to rise that Viggo would run again. Talk to him … Orlando said to talk to him, Sean thought grasping at anything to make this work. His voice was low and soft as he told Viggo how he’d felt, trying not to lay blame, but explained the emptiness and fear when Viggo didn’t come home. The more he spoke the easier the words flowed until Sean reached what he really needed to say, “I can’t do this without you … can you let me love you Vig? … Can you do that?” The words stopped and absolute terror took over. Sean could barely breathe, the blood pounded in his ears while he waited for a response … any response. Viggo didn’t answer but a gentle shudder shook his body and Sean realised that even though he made no sound, Viggo had begun to cry. Sean tightened his hold moving his arms up around the other man’s chest. He buried his face in Viggo’s neck all the while talking in a hushed panicked tone, “It’s okay Viggo, we can work something out … Orlando’s been getting you to help … I guess … I guess I’ve been using you as unpaid labour … we can work it out so you can stay … we can always work it out. Oh fuck Vig, we can always work it out.” Sean knew he was babbling as the tears streamed down his face, but he was afraid to stop until Viggo lifted his hand and reached blindly for Sean. It was only when his fingers were tangled tightly in Sean’s hair that Viggo allowed himself to pour out a lot of the grief and pain he’d held on to. Sean knew now to let Viggo cry. He simply held him pressed against his chest until Viggo’s grip loosened and he lay exhausted in Sean’s arms. Sean wiped his hand over his face, for once not embarrassed by the tears still rolling down his cheeks. He clasped Viggo’s hand in his own and rested them lightly on the rumpled sheet in front of Viggo’s chest. “I meant it … before … what I said.” Viggo closed his eyes and twined his fingers a little tighter through Sean’s … he desperately wanted to believe him. “It’s not something I’ve said to many people in my life,” Sean continued, “Men don’t where I come from. We love a pint or our football team, but we don’t say it when it really means something.” Viggo felt Sean’s chest rise and fall as he sighed, “Actually I’ve had little cause to use it at all. I loved my mam and grandparents … I think I loved my da. But other than that I only ever said it to one person … Jean McMullan.” It surprised Sean that he this was actually leaving his mouth. He never talked like this, even as a child he kept things to himself. Despite the softness of Sean’s voice, Viggo could feel it rumble lightly in his chest. Its gentle cadence soothed and made him feel safe … at least for a while. When Sean paused Viggo opened his eyes just a little and murmured, “Tell me.” Sean gave a breathy chuckle and said, “I was barely eighteen when I finally got the courage to ask Jean McMullan out to the pictures. She worked in the same office and had been the object of my desires, and quite a few wet dreams, for an eternity.” Viggo smiled, but didn’t make a sound in case Sean stopped. “Anyway … I have no idea what the film was, but the night went well and we ended up an item. I remember the night I told her how much I loved her, certain that I would spend the rest of my life with this girl. She told me she loved me back, but a week later she broke it off to go out with Mark Lynch. I was devastated and couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong … then she told me. Mark had a car and money to take her better places than the cheap seats at the local cinema.” “I left Sheffield after that and vowed to change my life … I guess I did in ways I didn’t quite expect.” Viggo tensed against Sean and said quietly, “I told my wife I loved her once.” Sean waited for more, but when there was none he leaned forward, kissed Viggo softly on the neck and murmured, “Hey I lied. There was another love in my life. Do you want to know about it?” Viggo nodded against Sean, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I must have been all of seven or maybe eight at the time,” Sean started, relaxing back into his pillows while his fingers made slow circles on Viggo’s shoulder, “I had just been to the shop for my Gran and had her old string bag full of tatties; fuck that bag was heavy. I put it down for a breather and heard a noise … it was tiny little sound that I could barely make out.” Viggo turned over and propped his head on his hand so he could watch Sean’s face as he drifted back to the little boy. “There was an old flour sack at the edge of the drain. I remember I bent over it to see if I heard the noise again and it moved,” a broad smile lit up Sean’s face and he laughed, “I nearly shit myself! But in the sack were two kittens. One had already died and the other wasn’t far behind. It was this little black thing all wet and smelly … it barely had its eyes open, but I know it looked at me and mewed.” Sean stopped, rubbed his hand over his mouth and shook his head, “I struggled home with the bag of potatoes over one arm, the dead kitten in the other and the live one up my jumper. My Gran raised Hell at the state of my clothes when I got home, but towelled the little one dry and gave it some milk while granddad and I buried the other one on the allotment where he grew the biggest yellow Dahlias I’d ever seen. Like giant suns. Sooty lived another sixteen years before he ended up in the allotment. I loved that little cat.” Viggo lifted his hand to gently caress Sean’s face, “Still bringing home strays.” “Only if you stay until we both end up under the yellow Dahlias,” Sean smiled under Viggo’s touch. When Viggo returned the smile Sean leaned up so their lips could meet briefly before he groaned and said reluctantly, “We’d better get up and go down to the shop before Orlando thinks he’s in charge.” ~*~ Viggo closed the bathroom door and turned to look at himself in the bathroom mirror … his eyes were still red, he needed to shave and his hair was a mess. He tried to see what Sean saw; he saw the bedraggled stray easy enough, but someone Sean could love enough to spend the rest of his life with just wasn’t in the reflection. Tbc.