Sean could muster. He had turned off the engine and removed his seatbelt, but 
rather than exiting, he sat silently in the driver’s seat. Sean knew this was 
the first real day of his life as a shopkeeper. He closed his eyes and let his 
head fall back against the headrest, “A fucking shopkeeper, ” he thought, “all
that fucking work to end up behind a counter … only a year Bean, only a year.”

The key slid easily into the lock and with a turn the door opened. Sean stepped
inside the still dark shop, flicked on the lights and entered the alarm code. He
took a breath and walked over to the counter. It all seemed so familiar but 
‘not’ at the same time. The business side of things would be easy; he knew that,
but the rest…

Sean ran his fingers over the antiquated cash register and soon they were 
lightly dancing over the keys – not enough to move them, just enough to feel 
them against his fingertips. He stopped and looked up through the shop, it was 
quiet. He felt a flutter of anxiety in his stomach and the usual dull pain 
behind his eyes. Without any real purpose Sean strolled through the solid 
bookshelves touching the occasional volume briefly before moving on. He soon 
found himself sitting in one of the leather chairs. He slouched down into worn 
leather and closed his eyes. He could smell dust and old books. He smiled that 
it was like being a little boy sitting in the ‘big’ chair at his Granny’s. She 
always surrounded herself with books and let Sean sit in his Granddad’s chair to
read them. Sean felt his muscles relax, he felt safe.

“You look happier this morning.”

Sean leaped out of the chair as if he had been caught doing something wrong and
glared at Orlando who was leaning, hands in pockets, against one of the shelves.
It took a moment for the blood to stop rushing in his ears, but he managed to 
growl, “If you plan on keeping your job don’t sneak up on your boss!”

Sean stalked past Orlando towards the counter ignoring the barely concealed 
giggle of the young man bouncing along behind him.

~~ * ~~

The morning passed easily and generally without incident. The morning customers
tended to be relatively introspective and seemed to know what they were looking
for without his help. Orlando informed him that, “Customers tend to fall into
categories according to the time of day or day of the week. The morning was for
those on a mission, by 11am the University students surfaced and afternoon was
for the browsers and mums with kids.”

As if on cue a young couple talking loudly breezed past them and headed for the
second hand book section.  Orlando gave Sean a triumphant look and stated, 
“Student types … it must be nearly eleven.”

Sean chuckled at the smug look and couldn’t resist needling Orlando by asking,
“So what time is set aside for our resident transient?”

Orlando’s grin faltered and with a quiet, “I’ll put the kettle on,” he turned 
and walked into the kitchen.

A laugh alerted Sean to the fact that the ‘student types’ were emerging from the
second hand alcove and heading for the counter. Sean braced himself with a 
mental be polite and asked, “Find anything interesting?”

The boy threw a paperback in front of Sean and grunted, “Does the book mark 
come with the book?”

Sean frowned and picked up the book opening the page where a slightly tattered 
red leather bookmark rested, “Um, I guess so…”

Suddenly Orlando appeared from the back room and snatched the book out of his 
hands. He glanced quickly at Sean and then turned to the students and said in a
very hesitant voice, “I’m sorry, this one isn’t for sale.”

“It was on the shelf!” The boy argued.

Orlando shot another look at Sean before stammering, “I … I made a mistake. It
was requested by someone who phoned earlier and I forgot to pull it off the 
shelf.”

The boy didn’t look convinced, but his girlfriend smiled and said, “Hey that’s 
okay, we all make mistakes.” 

Orlando smiled and silently thanked her for getting him off the hook with her 
boyfriend. 

“Look, if I get another copy I’ll make sure I put it under the counter for you,
yeah?” Orlando said holding on tight to the paperback.

The girl knew there was more to this, but said, “Yeah, thanks” before dragging 
her boyfriend out the door. Once they were gone Orlando just stood looking down
at the book, his fingers worrying the corner of the bookmark trying to avoid 
Sean’s gaze… but he knew the question was inevitable.

“What was that all about?”

Orlando sighed, “The book is reserved Sean … sort of.”

“Shouldn’t it be behind the counter if it is reserved?” Sean asked narrowing his
eyes slightly knowing that Orlando was trying to get out of answering him.

“Um… yeah, my mistake … I’ll put it away.” Orlando avoided looking directly at 
Sean and reached down to put it under the counter, but Sean stopped him with a 
quiet, “Now tell me what is really going on here Orlando.”

Orlando twitched a bit before realising Sean wouldn’t be diverted, “Mum gave 
that bookmark to Viggo to let us know which book he is reading … you know … so 
we wouldn’t sell it until he was finished.”

“ Viggo again!” Sean thought, but looked at Orlando and said, “Okay, I can live
with that, but let me know if there anything else I should be warned about?”

Orlando’s relief was palpable as he watched Sean walk back through the shop to 
return the book-marked novel to the shelf next to the chair. He released a 
breath and called, “I’m off to buy some lunch, want me to get you something?” 

“Anything’s fine,” Sean smiled as he walked back up the shop, “so long as it is
none of your vegetarian muck!”

“Okay, sliced corpse on bread for you then?”

“Sounds perfect,” Sean grinned and pulled his wallet out, “here take some 
money.”

Orlando waved it away and simply said as he dashed to the door, “That’s cool 
mate, I always grab it out of the cash register.” Luckily Orlando was through 
the door before Sean let loose with a string of very colourful expletives.

Sean was still shuffling through the accounts when he heard the bell above the 
door. He was all set to tell Orlando to hurry with his delicious sliced corpse
when he saw Viggo come in. Both men avoided looking at each other; Viggo kept 
his head down and Sean suddenly found an invoice fascinating. He didn’t see 
Orlando enter the shop until a brown paper bag was thrown on the counter in 
front of him, “Food for the carnivore.”

Relieved with the distraction Sean grabbed the bag and went into the kitchen,
“You want a tea or coffee?”

Orlando continued walking to the back of the shop and called over his shoulder,
“Can I have two teas please?”

Sean frowned slightly as the water rushed into the kettle, “Two teas?” and then
he realised with a groan, “ Viggo.”

With two mugs in hand Sean walked through the shop wondering who the hell was
the boss in this place! He could already hear the two men talking when he
rounded the shelf and saw Orlando crack up laughing and run his hand over 
Viggo’s hair. It was an innocent enough gesture, but Sean cringed at the sight …
how could Orlando touch him in that state?

Viggo stopped talking when he saw Sean and took the mug with a quiet, “thank 
you.” Orlando flashed Sean his best smile and said, “Ta Sean, here sit down and
have lunch with us, I’ll grab the floor.” Orlando started to stand, but Sean 
waved him back down and left them to share Orlando’s lunch.

~~ * ~~

Sean was relieved that his first ‘real’ day was over, although he had to admit 
it hadn’t been as bad as expected. The register tallied, taking into account the
lunch money snaffled by Orlando and the day’s takings seemed quite healthy. 

Orlando was in the kitchen rinsing out their well used mugs leaving Sean to do 
the final walk through the shop before locking up. Sean methodically 
straightened up any stray books and checked for discarded sweetie wrappers near
the children’s books. The last section reached was the second hand books and 
Sean realised he had already started to think of this as Viggo’s spot, “All 
bloody Orlando’s fault,” Sean grumbled as he moved to pick up a piece of paper 
left on one of the chairs, “I would have flung him out day one without Orlando
whining in my ear.” Sean looked at the paper and frowned. It had obviously been
torn out of one of the cheap water damaged sketch books they kept near the 
counter … like the one he had seen Viggo using. But it was the subject of the
sketch that made him frown. He was looking at himself. It was a picture of Sean
at the counter doing the accounts, but his chin was resting on his hand and his
eyes were unfocussed, staring into space. 

Sean was taken aback by the image, he wondered if that was what he really looked
like … it was certainly not the face he saw in the mirror. He was still scowling
at the paper when Orlando said, “That is beautiful.”

Sean was startled by the sudden voice and growled, “Fucking Hell Orlando, I wish
you would stop sneaking up on me!”

“What would be the fun in that?” Orlando grinned, “I like catching the boss 
perving at pictures of himself!”

“Come on you daft git, I’ll drive you home.” Sean chuckled and shoved Orlando 
past the counter towards the door, carefully slipping the picture into his
briefcase.

Orlando had fiddled with just about every accessory in the car, both standard 
and optional, before Sean had backed out of the car park. Finally he settled on
shuffling through Sean’s cd’s, “Man, you have crap taste in music!”

Sean just ignored him and indicated to turn into the main street. By the time 
they reached the third intersection Orlando’s attention had definitely shifted 
to outside the car. Sean was just about to give in and ask him what he was 
looking for when Orlando whipped round in his seat, “Hey pull over!” Sean 
instantly did as he was asked and turned to Orlando, “What, what’s wrong?” But 
Orlando was already half out the window and shouting, “Fuck off you wankers!” 
Sean saw a couple of teenagers bolt down the street.

Sean then saw Viggo walking towards the car and Orlando eased back in the 
window. “Hey Vig, you okay?”

“Yeah, they were just drunk kids, that’s all.” Viggo said quietly as he bent 
down to the window. His expression suddenly became guarded as he saw Sean in the
car. Sean felt a pang of guilt at the look, but couldn’t quite pin down why.

Viggo’s eyes returned to Orlando as he was asked, “It’s cold tonight, do you 
have somewhere to go?”

“Heading to the shelter, it’s early there should still be beds.”

Orlando looked at him; hoping it was true and whispered, “Stay safe man.”

Viggo gave him a small smile, shrugged and walked towards the door of the 
shelter.

Orlando slumped into the car seat, “I fucking worry about him…”

Sean didn’t know how to respond so remained silent only asking for the 
occasional direction. When Sean pulled on the handbrake outside the small 
apartment building Orlando reached for the door handle, but hesitated before 
opening the door. He turned and said with an almost sheepish expression, “Hey 
thanks for driving me man, um … you wanna come up for a coffee?”

Sean considered what he assumed was on offer and was tempted, but wasn’t really
sure if he had misinterpreted the invitation so, rather than making a fool of
himself or embarrass Orlando, he said with a gentle smile, “Rain check, okay?”

Orlando returned the smile and added a wink as he got out of the car. Sean gave
him a good natured shake of the head and wave as he pulled away from the curb 
with the thought, “Well Bean, a beautiful young man invited you up for coffee 
and you knocked him back … that may just have been the dumbest thing you have 
done for a while.” By the time he reached the intersection near the shelter, 
Sean had decided to take Orlando up on the ‘rain check’, perhaps dinner the next
night? 

While waiting for the traffic lights to change from red to green he couldn’t 
help looking at the entrance of the shelter. The doors were now closed and it 
was only by chance that a movement caught his eye and he saw a couple of people
huddled in a nearby doorway. His breath caught in his throat when he realised 
one of the men settling down on the folded cardboard was Viggo.

Sean didn’t notice the lights had changed until the car behind him beeped 
impatiently. He took his foot off the brake and drove away. By the time he had
reached his own apartment Sean had a sick heavy feeling in his chest. He nodded
at the doorman and travelled up the elevator to his floor. 

Rather than relaxing when he entered his apartment, Sean felt agitated and 
angry. He threw his keys on the table, poured himself a scotch and flopped down
on the couch.

The thought of food turned his stomach so just sat in the quiet room and smoked
a cigarette. The sense of satisfaction he felt earlier had completely evaporated
and he rubbed his hand over his eyes feeling vaguely sick. “Shit! This was all 
supposed to help,” Sean thought as he recognised the familiar pressure behind 
his eyes, “I’m just tired, bed and sleep’s what I need.”

Sean didn’t switch on the heating in the room and undressed ignoring the goose 
bumps on his flesh. He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t a cold night, 
but by the time he crawled under the warmth of the duck down quilt he was 
miserable. His stomach was twisted in knots and his tense muscles were 
threatening to cramp. His mind kept replaying the scene in the doorway and
Orlando’s quiet “stay safe man.”

“Oh fucking hell.” Sean groaned and threw back the covers of the bed. He dressed
quickly, grabbed his keys and made his way back to the garage.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Sean muttered as he backed his car out of his spot,
“he is not a fucking stray puppy!”

He found a parking spot near the shelter and walked towards the shop doorway 
trying to figure out what he was going to say, how was he going to explain why 
he was there and what was he actually going to offer Viggo. 

When he finally turned into the doorway his heart missed a beat … it was empty.
He stood in the doorway unsure what to do and looked around the small space as 
if he had somehow missed evidence of where Viggo had gone. He spotted a cop 
standing across the road watching him. He jogged over and asked, “Excuse me
officer, did you see a man sitting in that doorway a little while ago?”

The cop gave him a long look before answering, “Why? He take something?”

“No!” Sean responded quickly, “No, I’m, um… I’m just looking for him, that’s 
all.”

“ Moved ‘ em on. A damn nuisance they are hanging around here.”

Sean’s stomach churned at the cop’s attitude, but he forced himself to stay 
civil, “Any idea where he might have gone?”

The cop looked directly at Sean and said, “Could be anywhere, needle in a 
haystack. Best to leave it and head home.”

Sean knew it was pointless to ask any more and made his way back to his car. He
drove fruitlessly around the streets for another hour before the pounding in his
head and rapidly blurring vision forced him to give up and go home.

*****